Oh, tragedy
Has taken so many
Love lost cause they all
Forgot who You were
And it scares me to think
That I would choose
My life over You
Oh, my selfish heart
Divides me from You
It tears us apart
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Oh, why do I
Let myself let go
Of Hands that painted the stars
And hold tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart
Makes me forget
It's not me but You
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without You
And dying from me
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
At the end of it all
I wanna be in Your arms
So tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful?
Will my life
Find me by Your side?
'Cause Your love is beautiful
So beautiful
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Even though I walk through the fires of hell I will not be afraid...
Psalms 23:4
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid for thou art with me..."
When I wander through this life
I will not be afraid
Because your light will make my path straight
You shine in my deepest darkest valley's
You are like the the stars that brighten the night sky
When I stumble and I fail to get back up
I know your strength will raise me up again
Because my faith may be weak
But you O'God are the lifter of my head
When the storm shall rise above the crashing sea
I will not look away from thy face
Because through the smallest amount of faith
I will walk on waters
And I will not drown because I trust you to catch
me if I shall fall
And where the fires of hell I shall tread
I will not go through it all alone
Because you O'God are with me
And if my heart shall falter
And I shall go astray
I know your love will lead me back to you
And if my heart shall break
Lord Jesus you will make me whole again
If I shall die fighting in battle
You my healer will raise me back from the dead
But I will walk through hell if you want me too
Because in the end I know you'll see me through
I will not complain nor curse thy name
'cause through these fires I will sing for joy
'Cause even though the fires of hell shall drag me down to the ashes
I will not be afraid as long as I am with you
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid for thou art with me..."
When I wander through this life
I will not be afraid
Because your light will make my path straight
You shine in my deepest darkest valley's
You are like the the stars that brighten the night sky
When I stumble and I fail to get back up
I know your strength will raise me up again
Because my faith may be weak
But you O'God are the lifter of my head
When the storm shall rise above the crashing sea
I will not look away from thy face
Because through the smallest amount of faith
I will walk on waters
And I will not drown because I trust you to catch
me if I shall fall
And where the fires of hell I shall tread
I will not go through it all alone
Because you O'God are with me
And if my heart shall falter
And I shall go astray
I know your love will lead me back to you
And if my heart shall break
Lord Jesus you will make me whole again
If I shall die fighting in battle
You my healer will raise me back from the dead
But I will walk through hell if you want me too
Because in the end I know you'll see me through
I will not complain nor curse thy name
'cause through these fires I will sing for joy
'Cause even though the fires of hell shall drag me down to the ashes
I will not be afraid as long as I am with you
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
Vincent Van Gogh
First Steps
Restaurant de la Sirene
The Bridge at Asnieres
Iris' of Saint Remy
Cafe Terrace at Night
Starry Night Over The Rhone
Starry Night
Monday, January 04, 2010
*Fin prt 2
"Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
and nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could require, is this love?
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell.
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up and all that I have
is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
This is my hell."
The song *Fin is a song that has really meant alot to me, it is a song that is good to cry to. But not only that I could relate in a similar way. I think that is why I am such a big fan of Stephen Christian (frontman of anberlin), his lyrics, blogs, even in his book, I can relate in a small way. Stephen is to me is such an inspiration, I really look up to him as a role model.
The reason why I relate to this song, is because I too wrestled with God in a way, I doubted God because it seemed to me that he wasn't there or he didn't even care about me. When I pray, I sometimes have wondered if God was listening, because all I knew was that I could of been talking to the air. My family has been struggling through a whole lot. My mother was diagnosed with alot of mental sicknesses; she was diagnosed with multiple personalities, bipolar, and other mental illness that I don't even know about. She has these emotional outbursts, where she refuses correction and she lashes out in verbal abuse. My family and I suffer through this our whole lives, that it was to much that I could bear. I often wondered when this will ever end. How long do I have to live in this hell.
But God, has shown me that I am never alone in so many ways, through music, His scripture, and even through supporting family and friends.
This song to me is about someone who wrestled with God so much in his life, and God finally broke through and won! The quote above is a strong intimate picture of bittersweet surrender. The author of this poem comes with complete agony, and brokenness; he comes to the God of the universe, and cries out to God to take this hurt, this pain, all of who he is. He realizes in midst of all his pain, is that the only hope he has to hold on to is God. And he asks God, "Will you stay strong as you promised? Will you figure this out...Cause it's just me on my own in this helpless hurting hell..."
And so God comes and he begin to mold him, tearing away all the filth, the pain, and it feels like hell when he is going through this process. And he continues to surrender and finally put his trust in God.
This Song Fin, is such a powerful song. I want to one day experience what he did, but it's like hell...going through the process and surrendering to God all your pain and your Hurt. And it's hard...It is sooo hard. There are times I don't want to give it up to surrender all that I am. And I just don't want to give it up, I still want to understand... why is my mom like this? Does She really have a mental illness? And I just want her back, because when she has these out burst...she is not herself. But I know I'll have trust God...'cause maybe I'll never understand...maybe that's ok...'cause I don't have to go through this hell alone.
I'm just telling you alittle about my story, because those who are out there...who are hurting and going through similar situations or totally different situations, I want you to know that you don't have to go through this hell alone. You are never alone!!!
Tabitha Reilly
*Fin prt 1
Feels like you're miles from here,
in other towns with lesser names.
Where the unholy ghost doesn't tell
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear.
You remember the house on Ridge Road
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared.
I am the patron saint of lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just near lost causes?
Aren't we all to you just lost
Tommy, you left behind
something that will mean everything right before you die.
What if you gained the whole world?
You've already lost four little souls from your life.
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.
That you are the patron saint of lost causes.
All you are to them is now a lost cause.
All you are to them is now, causes.
Billy, don't you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
you made his faith disappear.
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth.
We're not questioning God.
Just those he chose to carry on His cross.
We're no better, you'll see.
Just all of us, the lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just lost causes?
Are we all to you lost?
Lost causes
So all we are to you,
Is all we are, is all we are
All we are is all we are
[Choir, repeated:]
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
and nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could require, is this love?
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell.
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up and all that I have
is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
This is my hell.
"THE MEANING TO THE SONG:
After months of searching I have found the entire meaning of the song.
Here it is:
The whole song is 4 separate stories, personal experiences of Stephan Christian (lead singer) the first verse is about, as early as 8yrs old, he want nothing to do with God or Satan- (notice lyrics in the verse- "remember the house of ridge road, told you and the devil to just leave me alone"
In the 2nd verse, is a recollection, from his teen years, when his church was sure, that they were promised a miracle from God, but nothing happened, and that hindered his faith- but i cannot find any lyrics with relevance. but the 3rd, is also in the second verse. it is about a mentor, who used the "guise" of "mission's work" to leave his family in shambles, and from my knowledge, that means, he used the excuse or disguise of mission work to leave his family. notice- the line "wish your drinking would hurry and kill you" that's probably referring to his feelings against that mentor.
The most impacting and last small story is in the final verse,
The last verse is full of questions to the listener, who is billy? who is timothy. i have found the answer.
billy is a traveling 'healer' that crippled Stephan journey. That's all that was said about that, so, i connected the dots, timothy was representing Stephan- billy promise healing on Stephan, or most likely someone close to him, and he was a fake. Stephan says, this and many others have messed with his "salvation" and he wrestled with God for a long time,
and the last 2 minutes of talking/singing and confusing lyrics that no one is sure of, is all about the conclusion of his wrestle.
this is where the majority of the story come into play.
I'm pretty sure I have these lyrics in the video wrong - I KNOW
Take what you will, what you will
and leave could you kill could you kill me
if the world was on fire and nothing was left except hope or desire
and take all that i could require is this love?
or am i on the floor over desperate?
hold hands streaming of blood again?
and then take full weight of me
guard my dreams figure this out its me on my own helpless hurting hell
will you stay strong as you promised?
cause I'm stranded and bare
meaningless is washed up and all that I have is God take this and all. (this is where notes come in)
these lines-
then grace takes me to a place of the father you never had ripping and breaking and tearing apart- this line has so much. i think these lines refer to the final part of his wrestle with God, and that's what happened, God ripped, broke his strongholds down, this situation is "hell"- the hell that he says in his last line, "this is not heaven this is my hell" the process was hell, but after, he felt much better, and Stephan says in the end "God Won"
so their you have it."
thanks to whoever posted the meaning to this song, it really means alot to me. I am going to write about what my thoughts of the song and its meaning in another blog so stay tuned! ;)
in other towns with lesser names.
Where the unholy ghost doesn't tell
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear.
You remember the house on Ridge Road
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared.
I am the patron saint of lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just near lost causes?
Aren't we all to you just lost
Tommy, you left behind
something that will mean everything right before you die.
What if you gained the whole world?
You've already lost four little souls from your life.
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.
That you are the patron saint of lost causes.
All you are to them is now a lost cause.
All you are to them is now, causes.
Billy, don't you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
you made his faith disappear.
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth.
We're not questioning God.
Just those he chose to carry on His cross.
We're no better, you'll see.
Just all of us, the lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just lost causes?
Are we all to you lost?
Lost causes
So all we are to you,
Is all we are, is all we are
All we are is all we are
[Choir, repeated:]
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?
Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
and nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could require, is this love?
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell.
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up and all that I have
is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
This is my hell.
"THE MEANING TO THE SONG:
After months of searching I have found the entire meaning of the song.
Here it is:
The whole song is 4 separate stories, personal experiences of Stephan Christian (lead singer) the first verse is about, as early as 8yrs old, he want nothing to do with God or Satan- (notice lyrics in the verse- "remember the house of ridge road, told you and the devil to just leave me alone"
In the 2nd verse, is a recollection, from his teen years, when his church was sure, that they were promised a miracle from God, but nothing happened, and that hindered his faith- but i cannot find any lyrics with relevance. but the 3rd, is also in the second verse. it is about a mentor, who used the "guise" of "mission's work" to leave his family in shambles, and from my knowledge, that means, he used the excuse or disguise of mission work to leave his family. notice- the line "wish your drinking would hurry and kill you" that's probably referring to his feelings against that mentor.
The most impacting and last small story is in the final verse,
The last verse is full of questions to the listener, who is billy? who is timothy. i have found the answer.
billy is a traveling 'healer' that crippled Stephan journey. That's all that was said about that, so, i connected the dots, timothy was representing Stephan- billy promise healing on Stephan, or most likely someone close to him, and he was a fake. Stephan says, this and many others have messed with his "salvation" and he wrestled with God for a long time,
and the last 2 minutes of talking/singing and confusing lyrics that no one is sure of, is all about the conclusion of his wrestle.
this is where the majority of the story come into play.
I'm pretty sure I have these lyrics in the video wrong - I KNOW
Take what you will, what you will
and leave could you kill could you kill me
if the world was on fire and nothing was left except hope or desire
and take all that i could require is this love?
or am i on the floor over desperate?
hold hands streaming of blood again?
and then take full weight of me
guard my dreams figure this out its me on my own helpless hurting hell
will you stay strong as you promised?
cause I'm stranded and bare
meaningless is washed up and all that I have is God take this and all. (this is where notes come in)
these lines-
then grace takes me to a place of the father you never had ripping and breaking and tearing apart- this line has so much. i think these lines refer to the final part of his wrestle with God, and that's what happened, God ripped, broke his strongholds down, this situation is "hell"- the hell that he says in his last line, "this is not heaven this is my hell" the process was hell, but after, he felt much better, and Stephan says in the end "God Won"
so their you have it."
thanks to whoever posted the meaning to this song, it really means alot to me. I am going to write about what my thoughts of the song and its meaning in another blog so stay tuned! ;)
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)