Surgery date

Hey everyone, we finally have a date for my surgery!!! My Surgery is going to take place on the 23rd of August. Keep praying, my family and I really do appreciate your prayers.
Love,
Tabitha :)

Jean-Francois Millet

The Angelus

The Goose Girl at Gruchy

Spring at Barbizon

Narcissi and Violets

A Young Shephardess

Take what you want from me, it means nothing now...

Yet when I Surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. -Ecclesiastes 2:11

Today's blog title came from a line of one of anberlin's new songs called "Impossible". Though I am not going to write about the song, but I do advise you to check anberlin out. They have a new cd coming out soon, called "Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place". They are an awesome band, and I hope you enjoy their music just as much as I do.

Have you ever felt that your life is meaningless, something hard to comprehend? Well I felt that way, thats why I can relate to King Solomon when he says that everything seems meaningless like the passing of the wind. The book of Ecclesiastes may be a sad-depressing book of the Bible, but it tells a story of a king and how he have come to realize that nothing in this world can satisfy him but Elohim, God our Creator.

I felt that way because it seems to me that my whole life my family and I have been going through a spiritual battle. I mentioned in one of my latest blogs (*fin #2) that my mother has an mental illness and that we still don't know yet what is wrong with her. She is still not allowing any help from family, and it is hard for us family to cope with that. My sister and I struggle alot with depression, and we both struggle with our doubts. If any of you are reading this, I do appreciate your prayers, thank you.

I believe God has taught me alot about Surrender, like for an example we were talking alittle about surrender in church today. Surrender takes total trust in God, which is very hard when it feels like God seems soooo faraway. But it says in Proverbs 3:5-6 to "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and He will make your paths straight". That means trust God with your heart, mind, soul, and all your strength, and don't rely upon how you feel or what the world says, because God is the truth, and when he says that He'll never leave you nor forsake you...He means that.

Have you ever heard the song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin? The song says: "If our God is for us, who can be against? If our God is with us who can stand against us?" I sometimes struggle with comprehending that. Have you wondered if the devil can touch us? I mean were "Christians", the devil can't hurt us, right? In Job it says that God allowed satan to take everything from Job, even his children. God also allowed the devil to make Job ill, but you know what? Despite the fact that his own wife tells him to curse God and die, he yet still praises God in the midst of his agony. Now who does that? Who gets beaten up sooo badly and yet remain joyful? You know what I would do? I would doubt God, and ask him: "Why have you abandoned me?", "Where are you?", "I thought you would make this right?" "I thought you would fight beside me?"...I would feel so defeated, and I do feel that way at times.

But God never said that life would be easy, but He does promise that we won't have to face our trials alone. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says: "And God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand-up under it." God provides a way out!! God understands that we doubt Him, but I'm learning that God wants us to trust Him with our fears, our doubt, our sorrow, and even our dreams, and our plans for the future.

I find trusting God with all that I am hard to grasp, don't you? You might be sitting here asking yourself, "But Tabitha, you mean I have to surrender all my fears? My doubts? My sorrows? Even all my dreams? And my plans for my future?"
Yes, I know it is hard, believe me...it is hard for me too. Surrender is not easy for me, nor any of us, but God loves you sooo much...you weren't meant to carry this loud alone. That why Jesus took all our fears, our doubts, our sorrows...everything upon himself when he died for us on the cross. So this is what I choose, and I hope you choose the same...Jesus, Take all you want from me, I give you EVERYTHING!!!!

The Old Beaten-up Box

This summer I started on a project. My dad had given me a box that he made when he was eight years-old, and I decided to clean it up and put wood stain on it. The box was worn out and dirty from being in our garage to long. My dad had used it as a tool box, where he kept his old tools. But the box hadn't been used in a long while, and so I asked my dad if I could have the box. So he let me have the box, and then I started cleaning it up and polishing it. I finished the box today and now it is in my room. I was going to use it to keep treasure,things that meant a lot me.

To me the old beaten-up box was a piece of treasure itself. It was a work of art, made by my father when he was a child, and cleaned up and polished by me. It says in Genesis 1:1 that, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth"; and in Genesis 1:26 God said, "let us create man in our own image..." To God we are a work of art something that's "fearfully and wonderfully made" (psalms 139: 14)! Isn't that amazing!!!

Though, the only difference is that we weren't a beaten-up dirty box. Then again, we were, 'cause when you think of it this way... when man sinned and turned away from God, sin separated us from God. And that made us beaten-up and dirty from our own sins. But Christ died while we were still sinners. In Isaiah 1:18 it says "Come now and let us reason together", says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." God made us CLEAN!!! By Christ dying for us on the cross, we were made clean and our sins were tossed on the ocean floor. He did that for us while we were still sinners, but through Jesus Christ we are made righteous!!

I thank God my Creator for making me fearfully and wonderfully made, and I also thank Jesus Christ for dying for my sins and making me clean. God can make you clean too if you let him. He loves you sooo much!! All you have to do is confess that He is God and believe that Christ died and rose from the dead, and ask Him to forgive your sins. And he will make you clean. But that doesn't mean you can go back to your old ways, God calls us to be set apart from the world, to reflect Christ in all that we do. Though there is going to be trials and tribulations, but God gives us the strength to overcome through Victory in Christ.

Something to think about

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." -Philippians 2:3

How can you "consider others better than yourself" without developing a low self esteem?

Vincent and The Doctor

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Surgery Update #3

Hey guys, I don't know whose reading this, but I thought I'd announce that my next surgery is coming up soon. Those who know me and those who have read my latest updates on my blog, know that I've had alot of surgeries do to my birth defect. I was born with a cleft lip and palate. And I had alot of surgeries on my lip, palate, nose, and Jaw.

Well I'm going to have another surgery on my jaw. I've had a jaw surgery before, but the last jaw surgery was to pull my upper jaw forward because it was a little to far back. This jaw surgery is going to be also on my upper jaw, but this time they are going to try to fix my bite because my bite is out of place, and they wanted to correct that. I wont be wearing a halo like I did on my last jaw surgery, so that is good.

My surgery is going to take place at the Arnold Palmer Hospital. My parents have scheduled a surgery, though we don't know when the surgery is going to take place, we're still waiting for a call from the surgeon. We are trying to Schedule the surgery in early August so that way I won't have to miss to many days that I have to go to college which starts at the end of August. I'll be staying in the hospital one day, and then I'll get to go home. I'll have to be on a liquid diet for about to weeks, then I'll be able to go back to a solid diet.

If any of you have any questions or concerns you are free to leave a comment or email me. And to those who prayed for me on my last surgery, I want to thank you--my family and I really appreciate your prayers. Thank you!!

Tabitha Reilly