Take what you want from me, it means nothing now...

Yet when I Surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. -Ecclesiastes 2:11

Today's blog title came from a line of one of anberlin's new songs called "Impossible". Though I am not going to write about the song, but I do advise you to check anberlin out. They have a new cd coming out soon, called "Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place". They are an awesome band, and I hope you enjoy their music just as much as I do.

Have you ever felt that your life is meaningless, something hard to comprehend? Well I felt that way, thats why I can relate to King Solomon when he says that everything seems meaningless like the passing of the wind. The book of Ecclesiastes may be a sad-depressing book of the Bible, but it tells a story of a king and how he have come to realize that nothing in this world can satisfy him but Elohim, God our Creator.

I felt that way because it seems to me that my whole life my family and I have been going through a spiritual battle. I mentioned in one of my latest blogs (*fin #2) that my mother has an mental illness and that we still don't know yet what is wrong with her. She is still not allowing any help from family, and it is hard for us family to cope with that. My sister and I struggle alot with depression, and we both struggle with our doubts. If any of you are reading this, I do appreciate your prayers, thank you.

I believe God has taught me alot about Surrender, like for an example we were talking alittle about surrender in church today. Surrender takes total trust in God, which is very hard when it feels like God seems soooo faraway. But it says in Proverbs 3:5-6 to "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and He will make your paths straight". That means trust God with your heart, mind, soul, and all your strength, and don't rely upon how you feel or what the world says, because God is the truth, and when he says that He'll never leave you nor forsake you...He means that.

Have you ever heard the song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin? The song says: "If our God is for us, who can be against? If our God is with us who can stand against us?" I sometimes struggle with comprehending that. Have you wondered if the devil can touch us? I mean were "Christians", the devil can't hurt us, right? In Job it says that God allowed satan to take everything from Job, even his children. God also allowed the devil to make Job ill, but you know what? Despite the fact that his own wife tells him to curse God and die, he yet still praises God in the midst of his agony. Now who does that? Who gets beaten up sooo badly and yet remain joyful? You know what I would do? I would doubt God, and ask him: "Why have you abandoned me?", "Where are you?", "I thought you would make this right?" "I thought you would fight beside me?"...I would feel so defeated, and I do feel that way at times.

But God never said that life would be easy, but He does promise that we won't have to face our trials alone. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says: "And God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand-up under it." God provides a way out!! God understands that we doubt Him, but I'm learning that God wants us to trust Him with our fears, our doubt, our sorrow, and even our dreams, and our plans for the future.

I find trusting God with all that I am hard to grasp, don't you? You might be sitting here asking yourself, "But Tabitha, you mean I have to surrender all my fears? My doubts? My sorrows? Even all my dreams? And my plans for my future?"
Yes, I know it is hard, believe me...it is hard for me too. Surrender is not easy for me, nor any of us, but God loves you sooo much...you weren't meant to carry this loud alone. That why Jesus took all our fears, our doubts, our sorrows...everything upon himself when he died for us on the cross. So this is what I choose, and I hope you choose the same...Jesus, Take all you want from me, I give you EVERYTHING!!!!